sweetestsurrender | { The Walk Into A Bar Meme }

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{ The Walk Into A Bar Meme }

The Walk Into A Bar Meme!

The bar's a comfortable place, where everyone knows you just have to walk up, give the bartender a smile, and order up a drink. Everyone goes to a bar sometime, whether to pick up a companion for the night, to pick up a friend, or pick up a drink. You never know the story behind the guy sitting next to you, or the bartender. But that's what bars are for, aren't they? To learn about the guy on the stool next to you, drinking his gin and tonic.

So what do you do in a Walk Into A Bar meme?

1. Comment here with your character and their canon in the subject line.
2. Hit RNG for a number between 1-15.
3. Tag someone else using that number as your character's reason for coming to the bar.
4. Profit!

So, what's your poison?

1. Sex on the Beach - You're here at the bar for one reason and one reason only, to find some company for the night. It might help, to buy them a drink first. But then they might throw that back in your face...

2. Tonic and Gin - Life's been one disaster after another lately, and the only thing that makes it easier is the sweet numbing taste of alcohol...

3. Midori Sour - Your friends dragged you out here and they've suddenly abandoned you for some rock star in the VIP lounge. Are you bitter? Maybe. Or maybe you'll just use the opportunity to flirt with the cute bartender...

4. Shirley Temple - You got a call five minutes ago asking you to come to the bar to pick up your too-intoxicated friend/brother/sister. But now that you're here, theydon't seem to be anywhere to be found...

5. Poolside Pleasure - There's nothing like being on vacation in a tropical paradise, is there? And what better way to soak in that tropical vibe than to swim up to the Tiki Bar for a relaxing fruity drink with a paper umbrella?

6. Moonshine - Maybe you're underaged. Or maybe the bar isn't exactly what you'd call legal. Whatever the reason, you're not supposed to be here, but you are, and while you're here, might as well get something to wet your whistle, right? Just be careful not to get caught...

7. Hair of the Dog - Last night was... do you even remember last night? Probably not, given the wicked hangover pounding in your head right now. Well, nothing cure a hangover like having a drink in the morning to take the edge off, right?

8. Champagne - Something great has happened! Did you get a promotion? Kill your nemesis? Whatever it is, you feel great and it's time everyone celebrated with you. A round of champagne on the house!

9. Shaken, not Stirred - To everyone else, this is a regular bar, but not to you. You know you're here to meet a clandestine contact, an enemy informer or a secret spy. Better play it cool and keep your eyes open...

10. Sunken Pirate Ship - You've been out on the high seas for months, and finally made it into port with your pockets full of gold. What're you going to do first? Drink that gold away or buy some company for the evening? You can do both at the bar...

11. Punch in the Rain - You're the bouncer of this bar and you think the guy sitting next to you has probably had too much to drink. Maybe it's time to cut them off. Hopefully they'll go easy, huh?

12. Bartender - Everyone who walks through the door has a story to tell, and you're the guy they love to tell those stories to. Are you the type to listen, or the type to slip a little something extra into their drink in hopes that they shut up about their sob story?

13. Absinthe - Whatever it is you just drank didn't seem to agree with you. And at the corner of your eye you keep seeing this bright green faerie... Is everything happening around you reality, or have you slipped into some kind of hallucination?

14. 357 Magnum - Did you just insult my mother? Whether or not they did, you sure think so, and you know what's the best way to settle things in a bar? With a bar brawl, of course!

15. Happy Hour - Anything goes! Got another scenario you want to play out, this is the place for it!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wufei was halfway down a bottle of vodka. He was drunk enough that he wasn't going to walk out of there under his own power, so. Yes. He was absolutely that drunk. He snorted loudly at Duo, swinging an arm up and draping it over his shoulders. "My friend," he said, words slow and careful and just this side of being slurred. "If I shower right now, I am liable to break my neck, or drown, or both. My tolerance for horse piss vodka is far greater than my liver is comfortable with."

And then he giggled. Just a little bit as he eased off the stool. "Do I smell like vodka, or horse piss, or just..." he gestured at the dust all over himself, attempting to encompass everything else he probably smelled like.

Duo's arm immediately went around Wufei's waist when he felt the other begin to climb off of the bar stool. That much drink in his system meant as soon as he stood, he was going back down again. And Duo, who had a greater tolerance for that kind of thing, was almost completely unaffected by the few shots he'd had so far.

What did bother him was that giggle. Wufei really was wasted. He'd never seen him like this before.

"All three." Duo admitted. "C'mon, Wufei. Lemme take you back. If you still wanna drink, we can drink when we get there." But if not... that was fine too. Duo hoped it would be not. He didn't want to have to drag his friend to hospital to get his stomach pumped!

"Drinking more would be unwise," Wufei replied, giving his head a shake as his legs tried very hard to introduce his face to the floor. He was trying, but wasted was a very kind term for what he was at the moment. "I'm pleasantly... what do you call it? Shit-faced?" he chuckled softly. "I like your words. They're very vulgar. They would've gotten me whipped back home, you know. Throwing things around like... like you," he laughed properly then, and it probably could've been taken as an insult, but Wufei didn't have a mean bone in his body right now.

He was saving all of those for tomorrow morning's hangover.

Luckily Duo had a thick skin. Even if there was a little bit of offence there, there was also a little bit of pride. He'd always thought Wufei was disgusted by the way he spoke. They'd come from two very different walks of life after all. Wufei's strict and formal. Duo's... less so.

"Shit-faced works." He could have listed off a dozen other ways to say drunk, but wasn't sure Wufei would even remember. So he tightened his arm around the others waist and hefted him up some, keeping him tight to his side. He wasn't going to let Wufei fall. He'd carry him on his back if he needed to.

"What other words do you like?" Duo, not feeling like Wufei should go down the road of thinking about his colony while he was drunk, decided it best to direct him somewhere else. "C'mon, you can tell me. It's just us. I won't tell a soul." Because... he'd liked the way Wufei laughed. It was a new sound. He'd never actually heard him laugh like that before. If swearing like a sailor was what did it, then Duo was ready and willing to break out all of his nautical terminology!

"Fuck," he replied, with far too much confidence for a man who couldn't walk under his own power, following blindly wherever Duo led him. "Fuck is a very good word. Versatile," at least, that was the closest word to whatever the hell had just come out of his mouth. "Powerful. Fucking fuck," he nodded, patting Duo's shoulder with his hand. "Bastard, too. Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Fucking shit-eating bastards, that's what they were." He almost sounded cheerful. "I should go back and kick their teeth in again." The only thing he'd be kicking was himself, in the morning, for the hangover.

There we go...

The funny thing about swearing? It could be cathartic. When you had enough internalise anger it was hard to find an outlet that wasn't likely to put you in harms way as well. But cussing them out as loudly and inventively as you could? There was something about doing that that just felt good.

Duo laughed.

"Fuck is a great word. Bastard too. And we'll get the chance to go back and kick their asses from here to the asteroid belt, don't worry about that, Wufei. They've got it coming." Even if he had to go and hunt them down individually himself.

He had a car waiting. It might not have been the best idea, since he'd had a few himself. But Duo wasn't worried. He'd piloted a Gundam in worse condition than he was currently in. A car was nothing. The only complication was trying to get his keys out of his pocket while holding Wufei up, but he managed somehow and soon had the other safely tucked into the passenger seat and himself in the drivers. "Anywhere in particular you wanna go?"

He hummed happily. "Nobody kicks my ass and gets away with it," he agreed, doing his best not to be too much of a handful, but not quite with it enough to really succeed. But the thought counted for something, didn't it?

The question had him slouching down in the seat, fiddling with the controls until he was suddenly reclining as far as it would allow. "Space," he decided, stretching his legs out and arms up above his head with a sigh. "I like floating." A terrible idea if he was drunk enough to vomit, which he might just be.

"No the damn well don't." And once Wufei was back on his feet maybe they could think about getting revenge. But for now Duo would be happy just getting him somewhere safe.

"We're in a car, Wufei. Space is a bit far for now." He chuckled, shooting a glance at his friend who had knocked himself back to recline almost all the way back. Duo got the car started and reached out to turn the radio on. Nice and low, more for himself than anything.

"... Can take you to the next best place though." He decided, cheered by the idea he had and set them in motion.

"Space cars," Wufei replied with a nod. "That should be a thing. I think," he was having trouble thinking, but at least he was done feeling sorry for himself. "You're so good at this," he sighed, lifting a hand to drag a finger over the ceiling of the car, letting his nail scrape across the fabric. "How'd'you do it?"

"Only in science fiction." Duo laughed. "Still waiting on those hover cars we were promised a hundred odd years ago."

"Eh? How'd I do what?" What was he being good at? Wufei was pretty bad at context. Skipping from one thing to another. But he was drunk so he could be forgiven. For now at least. "Driving? Learned to drive before I hit double digits." He said with pride. "If you mean handling alcohol... maybe the same."

He shook his head, and swallowed heavily as he realized what a gem of an idea that had been. "People," he replied, dropping his hand onto his chest. "Making them feel. Seeing them. I'm so bad at people. Even back home. People respect me, but they don't like me. Everybody likes you, though. Even me."

"You like me, huh?" Duo asked with an amused glance to the side. "Just because I'm good at people doesn't mean I always like people. You're more honest than me, Wufei. I think I'd like a little respect now and again. People like me because I'm a loveable idiot." Not because he had any value. He laughed and joked and, yeah, maybe that put people at ease because they didn't perceive him as a threat. For the most part Duo was fine with that. But sometimes a little respect would be a nice thing.

He laughed again, warm and open, when Duo called himself a loveable idiot. "You are only an idiot when it comes to self-pres... being safe." He rolled his head to the side, smiling widely as he watched Duo's profile. "I'm only honest on the outside, and they do respect you, when you let them. When you let them see you, for real," he prodded Duo's shoulder with his finger a couple of times. "But you hide, like all of us. I like it when you stop grinning," his hand dragged down Duo's arm, plopped onto the center console.

That laugh again. It was weird, and a little sad, that he'd only been able to hear it now. Wufei had a good laugh. And a really nice smile. While it was true most of them didn't have much to smile about these days, did it really hurt to try? Wufei probably wouldn't remember much of what he did now nor this conversation. It was probably why he was being so free with his speech. The alcohol had loosened his tongue.

"Got me there." With nothing to lose Duo was one of the worst of them for taking risks and he knew it. But the rest all had better things to fight for. Prospects. Potentials. Duo... Duo was just fuelled by anger and vengeance. So he took risks. A lot of the times they panned out. No one was ever more shocked than Duo himself when they did.

He slanted a glance to the side when he was touched. That smile of Wufei's caught him off-guard for a second. Where the hell did he learn to even smile like that?

"No one wants to see the real me, Wufei. He's a bitter asshole who should stay buried." Or a tired and terrified child who just wanted a home... But the mask of the 'loveable idiot' was the one that people could accept a bit more than any other part of him. So it was fine like that.

Yet, with Wufei's words, his grin faded some into what he hoped was a more genuine smile. Just for Wufei.

"I like it when you start grinning. A smile suits you, Wu. Shame you can only do it when you're shit-faced."

"I want to," Wufei countered, letting his smile stay right where it was, since it was just him and Duo. No need to keep up appearances with someone he could trust so completely. "You've got every right to be bitter, I haven't... I don't know, I always had somewhere safe, even during the war. I don't know what it's like, but." He wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say, furrowing his brow as he tried to get his drunken mind to form a more coherent thought. "I'm safe for you. I try to be." But maybe he wasn't. Maybe no one really trusted him, after the Mariemaia incident.

But then Duo said shit-faced and he giggled again. "I do it when I'm sober. Just not where anyone can see," he crossed his legs at the ankle, stretching them out with a long sigh. "I'm the hard-ass drill sergeant. I make everybody miserable so you can make 'em smile."

He shifted uncomfortably. Duo didn't much like talking about himself with any seriousness. The bits and pieces he let slip were usually done in jest. Off-hand comments thrown out like he didn't much care about them. Not always, of course. But most of the time. Sometimes he could be serious too. Today was not one of those days.

"I'm glad you don't know, Wufei." Duo breathed. "Damn glad. You shouldn't know..." No one should know... The closest who came to understanding the world Duo came from was Trowa. Not even Heero could fully understand and Quatre was in another solar system of understanding. He was infinitely glad that the others hadn't had the kind of life he had.

But the next words out of Wufei's mouth gave him some serious pause. 'I'm safe for you'. What the hell did that mean? Was Wufei offering to be... what? His safe place? A point of sanctuary? The guy fell to pieces whenever a mission went wrong! Maybe Wufei was the one who needed a safe place more.

Duo shook his head with a quiet laugh.

"Maybe you're a 'hard-ass' but you don't make us miserable. Well I can't really speak for the others. But personally? You're a good. Just need to loosen up a bit, Wu!"

Wufei hummed. He was glad he didn't know, too, and wished that Duo didn't have to, but there was nothing to be done about it now. They could only work with what they'd been handed.

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he relaxed in the car and considered the words. "Loosen up," he repeated, and reached up to tug open the top couple of buttons on his shirt. "That's scary."

"Why'd you think that's scary?" Duo couldn't help ask. "Seem pretty loose right now."

Least his tongue was. Words were just tumbling out of Wufei all willy nilly with no thought of the consequences. The freedom of knowing that he'd not remember anything the next day, probably. But Duo kind of liked it. He felt guilty for liking it, almost like he was taking advantage of Wufei's compromised condition. But when would he ever get the chance to honestly talk with the guy? Wufei barely had time for him usually. This was... actually kind of nice.

"That's because it's just us, and I'm drunk," he replied. "You won't use it against me, no matter how loose I get. Other people aren't like that. Even if they like me, they like to twist the knife when they find a soft spot." He let out a long sigh, opening his eyes again to glower at the roof of the car. "There will be so many people rubbing this in my face tomorrow," he grumbled.

"Yeah? We'll let em try. They'll have to get through me first." There was more than a hint of anger in Duo's tone right then. If there was anyone out there who dared give Wufei shit for this, Duo would give shit right back.

They'd all failed missions. All fucked up. All of them had found a way to punish themselves for it. Wufei had chosen the bottom of a bottle to drown himself in. That was his choice. And given the alternatives it was pretty tame. Most definitely nothing worth mockery.

Wufei didn't usually go for the drink, but this mission had gone especially bad, and most people thought he had a stick up his ass, that he was deserving of failure once in a while to take his arrogance down a peg. They didn't realize that the so-called arrogance was more of a defense mechanism than anything. Keeping people at arm's length so they wouldn't hurt him. It was a lot easier to manage than he wanted to admit.

Duo's anger, though, that had his smile coming back, and he poked Duo's shoulder again. "See? Good egg. I should bury you in salt."

"Huh?" Just like that the anger went away with the strange phrase.

"Are you just drunk or does that actually mean something?" Because Duo had never heard the saying before and it was kind of amusing.

He laughed again. "To preserve you," he replied, giving his head a little shake. "You should pull over."

"Uh, right. Doing that now!" He didn't need to be told twice. Since the road was pretty quiet he had no problems in easing over and pulling up at the side of the road.

Duo would be very grateful if Wufei didn't vom all over his car!

Duo was fast enough to ensure that he didn't. Wufei pushed the door open as soon as the car stopped, leaning out to empty his stomach. When he was sure he was done, he spat into the grass and put his seat back in the upright position before closing the door again. "That," he croaked, "was worse coming back up."

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