sweetestsurrender | { Hardest Thing To Say Meme }

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{ Hardest Thing To Say Meme }

Sometimes the hardest things to say are also the most important. It doesn't matter how much it scares you to do so, it's finally time to be honest.

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- others go to RNG and roll numbers 1-22 then respond setting up a scenario.
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01. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE Unfortunately, you can't keep lying to your partner/friend/family anymore. You just don't feel the same for them anymore.
02. I WOULD KILL YOU The person who means so much to you has done something completely unforgivable and now it's time to make sure they know where they stand. You would kill them if you ever got the chance.
03. I LOVE YOU, BUT... A bittersweet love confession. You know you love this person more than anything, but you're not sure you can give them what they need.
04. I DON'T TRUST YOU No matter how you feel about this person, you really can't trust them anymore.
05. SACRIFICE You're going to sacrifice yourself, for the person you're talking with or for the good of all humanity. You want them to know the reasons and that there's no stopping you.
06. TROUBLE You're in trouble and you might not make it through. You need to let at least one person know how you feel before it's too late though.
07. CRIME CONFESSION You did something you weren't proud of and now it's time to admit it.
08. DEMONS We've all got our demons and we've all got our own personal nightmares we have to face, but this time? You can't hold it all back.
09. I'M PREGNANT... Now's not the best time for it maybe or maybe you're just nervous how your partner will react, but they need to hear it.
10. BETRAYAL You've betrayed this person and you have to tell them the truth, no more running from it
11. CHEATED You've been unfaithful and it's time to tell your lover.
12. BROKEN That's it. You've had it. You are entirely broken and tired of everything.
13. AFRAID Something has you deathly afraid and you need to talk about it.
14. HELP ME You need someone to help you, bad. You can't do it alone anymore, you've tried.
15. I'M SORRY You said something or did something horrible and now it's time to ask for forgiveness.
16. YOU WERE A MISTAKE Sorry, but whoever you're talking to was the biggest mistake of your life or maybe it was just something you did together.
17. NOT WHO I SAY I AM You're so far from who they think you are, you need to finally tell the truth.
18. LET'S RUN AWAY You want to just get out, leave everything behind and be with this one person for the rest of your life.
19. ASHAMED Either you're ashamed of something they have done or something you did, either way you need to bring it up.
20. CAN'T REMEMBER The person standing in front of you looks so happy to see you, so relieved, but how do you tell them you can't remember a thing about them?
21. HOW COULD YOU You don't understand how they could treat you like they have, do what they have done when you've done nothing but be good to them.
22. YOUR CHOICE Either choose an option from above, mix and match, or make up your own idea.

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It wasn't until the early hours that the nightmare came. Tension built in his shoulders rather quickly, face scrunching as he navigated his imagined battlefield, and just a few seconds after that he woke with a gasp, whole body tense as he struggled to get his bearings and remember where he was, how he'd gotten there.

He'd not fallen asleep, but half way through the third movie he'd attempted to watch Duo had begun to drift off. His eyes had closed. It was the lightest of dozes so, when Wufei became agitated, Duo was already reacting.

"Wufei." He called his friends name once his eyes were open and the hand that had remained upon Wufei's shoulder gave a slight, reassuring squeeze. "It's okay. You're fine. You're safe here. It's just a bad dream." Duo did his best to keep his voice soothing even as he leaned forward and brought his other hand into play to softly stroke over his hair. It was just as silky as he'd imagined it would be...

Almost immediately, he started relaxing again, letting out his breath in a sigh as he lifted a hand to rub at his eyes. Still, despite the nightmare, he felt worlds better. "Thank you," he said, voice still thick with sleep. "How long?"

"A while. It's almost morning." Duo assured and removed his hand from Wufei's hair and he smiled down at him. "You went most of the night. How're you feeling?"

Aside from having woken because of a nightmare of course.

He hummed softly, shifting onto his back and pulling his legs up to drape them over the arm of the sofa. "Better," he sighed. "Did you stay up all night?"

"I dozed." He wasn't about to lie, what would be the point? It was obvious he hadn't actually been asleep. Duo didn't mind that though. Wufei had come to him for a reason and he was going to be as good a friend as he could and help him out. If it meant missing a nights sleep, so be it.

"Just glad you could get some. I'll catch up later today." He frowned a little then. "... You gonna tell me what these nightmares are about though?"

He let out a long, heavy sigh. "It's extremely convoluted," he warned, "and extremely stupid," but it was his unconscious mind and he would not take responsibility for what his sleeping brain decided was an interesting narrative. "It starts during the Mariemaia incident. I disable Wing Zero, and send it into the ocean. The earth surrenders, and the rest of you are simply too late to stop it," he didn't look at Duo, keeping his gaze on the ceiling, frowning at the shadows, not at all sure that he wants to admit to the rest of it. It's so weird and surreal and just... wrong.

He listened quietly to what the dream was about, the only change to his expression a deepening frown.

"That... that... Buddy, what the hell's got you thinkin about this?" Duo got it, he looked back on past missions a lot. Some kept him awake for nights. But this?

"That's the tamest part of the whole damn thing," he replied with a sigh, rubbing both hands over his face. "I don't know why, but I've been having the same one for weeks. I end up leading Mariemaia's military, and when she's older, she makes me marry her. We have a son. With my hair and Treize's eyebrows and Heero's name." And if he was hiding behind his hands, pretending that he's still just rubbing his eyes, what of it? It's not exactly the sort of thing he wants to think about, but his dreams really weren't giving him a choice.

Duo... really tried. The thought was scary, but the mental image Wufei's words conjured were so wild. So damn funny! He worried he was going to give himself internal injuries from trying hard not to laugh. This was serious. This was...

He managed to cover his lips and muffle the quiet pfft that slipped out just in time. Then he cleared his throat, pretending that's what had happened in the first place. He hadn't laughed. That would have been a dick move if he had!

"Uhh... I'm no dream expert so I can't even guess what any of that means. Maybe you want kids or something and your brain is just pulling from what it knows? Maybe the thing with Sally hit you more than you realise? But... why would you name your kid after Heero? That's beggin for trouble!"

Honestly, laughter wasn't unwelcome -- if it hadn't been so distressing to him, Wufei probably would've found it funny, too. "Because I killed him. In the dream, Wing gets to crush depth or... well, I'm not exactly sure what happened, and it's a dream so it may not make sense anyway," he sighed, finally pulling his hands down to smile wryly up at Duo. "Maybe I do, but I'm certainly not equipped to raise them," he sighed. "The part that wakes me up is Dekim deciding I'm working with the three of you, so he has me arrested and makes the child watch the interrogation." If it weren't for that last part, he wouldn't be having so much damn trouble dealing with it. Especially since he knew damn well that sort of thing wasn't beneath Dekim, even if the bastard was dead now.

Edited 2021-11-10 22:00 (UTC)

The desire to laugh was gone now, just a sad smile in it's place. The whole dream was insane. But clearly vivid enough to leave Wufei with an emotional scar in it's aftermath.

Duo reached out a hand and caught one of Wufei's then dropped the both to rest upon the others chest.

"Still just a dream, Wufei. None of that happened. None of it could happen. Heero's alive, Dekim isn't. We all made it out alive." And that's what he constantly told himself. They made it out. Against all odds they survived.

He sighed heavily, letting Duo capture his hand and feeling his own heart thumping in his chest, calmed down to a reasonable rate already. "Did we?" he asked softly. "I often feel as if I'm still stuck back there, always looking over my shoulder," unable to trust, unable to sleep. He usually coped by throwing himself into mission after mission and letting exhaustion force him to rest, but with his partner pregnant they were both stuck behind a desk together.

"That's probably normal. It'll get easier." It had to. Duo did his best to convince himself of this and it was so much easier telling someone else.

"I still duck and cover if a car backfires. We're soldiers at the core, Wufei. We just... gotta find our way in a new world now, that's all." As he spoke he found himself slowly and lightly stroking the pad of his thumb along the side of Wufei's hand, an idle comfort to himself more than anything else.

He snorted softly. "When have we ever been normal?" he asked, managing a small smile, tipping his head towards Duo's chest. "You know that my door is always open for you, don't you?" he asked, and not just because he knew Duo would be able to pick any lock he put on it.

Duo sucked in a breath and then gave a low huff of a laugh. Yeah, he knew. But reaching out was harder to do unless he was at his very limit. He was a glutton for punishment and would bully his way through, determined to do things for himself until he couldn't. Until he had no choice.

Much like what Wufei had done last night.

He had no doubts appearing at Duo's door had been a last resort for Wufei.

"Yeah, I know. Same to you, yeah?" He grinned. "Door's always open. I've always got a lap free if you need to crash again."

"Yeah," Wufei smiled, sighing as he finally stretched, his free hand coming up to cover a massive yawn. "I'm going to take you up on that more often than I would like, I think. I'm stuck on desk duty for at least another six months," and then, if he was lucky, he'd be able to convince Heero or Trowa to partner with him while Sally was on maternity leave, put him through his paces and get him back into fighting shape. Otherwise he might actually rip his own hair out.

"Guess I'll stock up on tea then. You still drink that stuff?" He couldn't keep giving him hot chocolate!

Duo made a sympathetic sound and nodded. That was probably a point of frustration for Wufei. And probably didn't help his dreams. Without a distraction his mind was working overtime. Things were starting to make more and more sense to Duo.

"They can't assign you to someone else? They can't bench you as well. Not like you're pregnant!"

"If I ever tell you I've stopped drinking tea, you should consider it a distress signal," he replied with a little smile. "Puerh is the most difficult to overbrew, and you might like it yourself. It's quite strong."

He was comfortable where he was, and not inclined to move until Duo made him. "I asked that same question, but they both seem to think riding a desk is going to help me develop empathy," he wrinkled his nose. "All it's done so far is give me the worst insomnia of my life." Now that he had a few hours of sleep under his belt, it was a whole lot easier to identify what was causing the problem.

A solemn nod. "That'll be our code. Wufei refused tea, needs immediate extraction." He smiled then, wide and warm. "So, what you're saying, is that it's tea even an idiot can't mess up? Perfect. That's the one I'll get then." Since he wasn't a huge tea drinker himself, he preferred anything with caffeine, a fool-proof tea was exactly what he needed.

Funny thing was, Duo was comfortable as well. Even if his right leg had fallen asleep at some point, he didn't care. He liked this. It was... nice. It made a chance from spending his nights on his own.

"You're born with that. You can't just develop it like an ulcer."

He let out a huff that was dangerously close to an actual laugh, letting his fingers shift, tangling with Duo's. "Your words, not mine," he pointed out with a little smile. He felt so... warm and comfortable, safe in a way he didn't really allow himself when he was alone, or even with most other people.

"Apparently their determined to make me show it," he rolled his eyes. "When I took the damn job I didn't realize it was going to require a personality makeover."

He'd not bothered to remove his hand. Honestly had kind of forgotten where it was at all until Wufei's fingers curled around his to hold it. Only then did his attention shift to their hands with a mild look or surprise. Then a smile. It didn't bother him really. A little strange but Wufei didn't seem to mind it so he wouldn't.

"WWDD." The smile was a grin now. "What Would Duo Do? They want you to show it, pile on the sugar until you make em so dam uncomfortable they beg you to go back to the old Wufei!" And yet, even as he said the words, he burst out laughing. The thought of a sugary sweet Wufei was just a little disturbing. Clearly he was more than capable of being sweet... But Quatre levels of sweet just looked damn weird on anyone but the little blonde.

The whole situation was strange. Wufei didn't, generally speaking, get affectionate with anyone, but this wasn't a normal situation. This was quiet, and private, and more than just knowing he was safe, he felt it.

Then Duo had to go and suggest that, and he was laughing, too. "You know, that might just work," he said with a grin. "But you'll have to come with me and record it, or no one will believe I ever did it. I'd be blushing the whole time, too. My people don't really show affection except behind closed doors," like right here, on Duo's couch, with their fingers mingling together. It was doing strange things to his chest, but he didn't mind it at all.

Edited 2021-11-11 21:16 (UTC)

"You really want somethin like that recorded? You're a braver man than me, Wu!" But he'd do it if Wufei truly wanted him to. If just so he could look back on it and cringe or show it as proof why he was the way he was and not a sugar coated bag of feels!

"Seems kind of... lonely." Not showing affection. Duo had pretty much craved it most of his life, though he'd never understood what it was he wanted. Not until Sister Helen. The first instance of affection had come from her and he'd fallen for her hard. He would have done anything for her. For a smile or a kind word. Though more often than not what he ended up doing was getting beaten up or just being a general menace. She'd still been kind to him.

After her... affection had been something he'd hoped to get once the war ended. Quatre had been an affectionate little shit and he'd loved that about him. If there was ever a time Duo had needed a hug, Quatre was on hand.

But affection from Wufei? That was just unheard of. Until now.

"Hey... Wu? Why did you come here?" He asked slowly, his gaze still on their joined hands.

"Well, then no one will ever ask me to do it again," he pointed out, his grin fading to a small smile. "It is lonely, a little, but it's all I've ever known," he admitted softly.

That question, though, that had his face going back to it's usual mildly indifferent expression as he decided just how to reply, what the right words were. His fingers brushed against Duo's, an attempt at reassurance as he took his time picking out his reply.

His gaze was on Duo's ceiling when he finally answered, voice barely a whisper. "You don't look at people like they're broken when they come to you for help." There was nothing he hated more than pity, and he knew he wouldn't get it here. "I knew I'd feel safer here than anywhere else I could go, and that maybe it would help," and it had. Despite his words, he couldn't bring himself to meet Duo's gaze.

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