sweetestsurrender | { The AU meme }

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{ The AU meme }

Ever played out something and then later wondered "What if?" Ever wondered what it'd be like to play your character a different way, but didn't feel like making a full thing dedicated to it? Now's your chance to play it out!

Using RNG you'll roll 1-3 for the level of the change, and 1-6 for the change itself, or if you want, pick your own based on what you wanted to do.

1)  Small Change: The flap of a butterfly's wings can cause tsunami's on the other side of the world.

-1: "A minute too late"- What if you missed something by a minute, or more? You missed the big meeting, the girl, helping that person, all because you were too late, what happens next?
-2: "The nick of time"- Just like the first, only that instead of missing something you got, that if you got something you missed because you were either too late, or just messed up? Congratulations! Let's just hope it's what you really wanted.
-3: "A little too early"- One more, what if you showed up early? It's suppose to be a good thing, is it this time?
-4: "The other choice"- You had two choices, left or right, heads or tails, Coke or Pepsi, now you get to see what would have happened with the other choice.
-5: "Oops!"- You slipped up, and made a mistake. Is it bad, or a blessing in disguise?
-6: Wild card/Pick your own- Thought of a slight change that'd make all the difference, or had one you wanted to play? Here's your chance.

2)  Medium Change: Didn't really see that coming, did you?

-1: Turning point change- That one thing that would have turned things in your favor went against you, and vice versa. How will you handle this critical change?
-2: "A Razor's edge"- That one moment that could have went either way has gone the opposite way of before. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?
-3: Crossroads- You reached a point in your life where you had several choices before you, now's the time to go down another road and see where it leads.
-4: The Road less traveled- "Two roads diverged in the woods, and I took the one less traveled" Will it make all the difference?
-5: Interference- Something blocked you from getting something you were going for. What do you do once the moment is gone?
-6: Wild Card/Pick your own-Thought of a medium change that'd make all the difference, or had one you wanted to play? Here's your chance.

3)  Large Change: Why do all the people here have goatee's?

-1: Good/Evil- Use to be a good guy? Welcome to the dark side, here's your cookie. Former bad guy? Hand over the cookie tray and join the side of good. How will the change of moral compass change you?
-2: A different person- You're now a completely different person, literally. Are you taller? Shorter? A robot? A pony? Powers? No powers? Your call.
-3: The other sex- Rule!63 is in effect. Now how does this effect your relationships with the other?
-4: A change in history- Something that happened in the past now has completely change or is now gone. One domino toppling the rest. Now that you've changed your past, how will it effect your future?
-5: Giving up- You walked away from something important to you? Do you regret it? Are you happy?
-6: Wild Card/Pick your own- Thought of a large change that'd make all the difference, or had one you wanted to play? Here's your chance.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Well, at this rate I'm going to learn as much about myself as you are. I'd never thought to try a place like this, but it was a wonderful surprise, and promises to be again when I wake up in the middle of the night craving chocolate," she teased lightly, turning her head to watch him drive, to catch his profile changing under the street lamps. "I suppose I'll have to plan our next date, take you somewhere that you can try something new," and hope he liked it. She did tend to prefer quieter places, and despite how loud Duo could be, she knew he appreciated the quiet, too. "Have you ever gone hiking? For recreation, I mean."

"So this was a date, huh?" Again he'd not wanted to assume, but he'd still wanted to show her a good time. If they'd said it was an official date before hand maybe he would have gone to a bit more effort, or at least arranged a little extra excitement.

"Cant say I've gone hiking for fun. But I'm open to it. That something you like doing, Wu?" it wasn't something he was against at all. Running for fun was something that baffled him. But a nice walk in nature? He could enjoy that.

She shrugged. "It felt like what I imagined one would," she replied with a little smile, letting her thumb slide along the back of his hand. "Maybe not as excessively romantic as the ones in movies, but I've never been terribly fond of going over the top."

She chuckled at his reply. "Three or four times a year, I'll go out into the wilderness for a weekend. Usually when I'm waiting for internal affairs to clear me after a complaint, since I'm not allowed in the gym during the waiting periods," so she couldn't just fight her way to a clear head, and she'd opted for nature hikes as an alternative.

"Glad it wasn't just me then." He'd felt it himself but, again, hadn't wanted to push for anything Wufei wasn't comfortable with. He'd thought if he was going to ask Wufei out he'd be more clear on it. But this was fine too.

"Well..." Duo couldn't help laughing. "You wanna take me on a date to the thing you take your frustration out on? Sure sure, so long as that's not what we'll be doing?" he risked a quick glance over at Wufei. "It's for fun you wanna do it, right? I'm not driving you crazy already am I?"

She laughed warmly when he asked about the hiking. "Just for fun," she confirmed. "I don't exactly have a lot of hobbies that aren't for venting frustration, but most of it comes from work," or things that were no longer problems, thanks to Duo. "In fact, you're having the opposite effect. I've been so relaxed this week people are engaging me in small talk, and I haven't snapped at anyone all week. Not even Heero," it was a personal best.

Duo have her hand a little, happy squeeze, his smile widened. It made him feel pretty good to know that she'd been happy this last week.

"That's good. And better if we're doing it for fun." He smiled over for a second before turning his attention back to the road. "You do seem more relaxed. I can't take the credit for that though."

"You can take a little credit," she replied with a warm smile. "Most of it's because I don't have the threat of forced marriage to a complete stranger hanging over my head -- which reminds me, my dining room walls look a bit like investigation boards right now." So he wouldn't be totally taken aback when he saw it. "I used one wall for wedding things, and the other is... I used it to weigh my options, make sure that the choice I've made is the right one." Marrying Duo wasn't her only option, wasn't even the only option to avoid an arranged marriage, but it was by far the best one. "After we've talked, if you want me to go through the thought process with you, I'd be happy to. It looks a little chaotic."

Duo frowned but was good and kept his eyes on the road. "You're saying you made a board about me...?" he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to see something like that. Having all of his pros and cons laid bare was just a little too much to think about. Unless it was something else entirely. But the way she made it sound as unsettling.

"Did you come to a decision at least?" he asked instead.

"Not about you, exactly," she replied. "But my various options. You, the men my family had selected -- they emailed me biodata sheets on all of them," she rolled her eyes. "And the non-marriage options. Running away, faking my death," she waved her free hand dismissively, as if to encompass more options. "But yes, I came to the decision that my first instinct is, as usual, correct. Marrying you is the only option where I can see myself being happy long-term."

Assuming he still wanted her. She knew he would, that he wouldn't blame her, but knowing something and feeling it wasn't the same thing. She gave his hand a little squeeze. "You're the smart option, the safe one, but most importantly you're the one I want to take," she said it softly, like it was a secret. "I can't imagine feeling as safe with anyone else as I do with you."

He listened quietly, did his best to reserve judgment until she'd finished what she wanted to say. But it did little to help the dull ache building within his chest. Duo supposed she was right. He was the smart option. He was safe. He didn't expect anything from her really. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

So he smiled and nodded. Accepting the answer.

"And I'll keep being a safe place for you, Wu." Since that was really all he could offer her right now. A safe harbour away from the chaos.

"I know," she said, her voice smaller and quieter than it had ever been. She sighed quietly, squeezing his hand again. She knew, somewhere in her bones, that while he might react badly, he would still be there for her.

The gilt might just eat her alive, but they'd made up their minds. She would see it through and, maybe, with enough work, she might one day actually be worthy of all the sacrifices he was making. Even if he claimed he wasn't. She knew, she could see how much he cared for her, and she wished she could just wave a wand and feel all the love for him that he deserved.

And made a mental note to call her therapist.

Duo held the hand in his a little tighter too, never enough to hurt, but more to stop himself from letting go and crashing his truck trying to hug her. The tone of her voice made him want to. But he couldn't risk it while they were driving so he decided to wait.

It wasn't long at all before Duo was pulling up outside of Wufei's apartment. It was quicker coming back with less traffic than getting there. So he parked up and shut the truck down. Then he twisted around to grab the cake.

"Don't suppose you've got coffee at your place? Or are you mainly a tea drinker?"

The grip made her smile, because she knew, she knew that her fears were irrational with him. That if anyone could understand that what happened to you didn't define you, it was him.

By the time they reached her apartment, she'd steeled herself for what was to come, and even had a smile for him when he let go of her hand. "I mostly drink tea, but I've got coffee on hand for guests. Been getting quite a few of those this week, too. Heero, Sally, even Une popped by yesterday. She had herself a good chuckle at my dining room," she flashed a grin as she hopped out of the truck and closed the door behind her, since he had the cake. She came around to meet him on the other side before heading in with him.

And true to her word, the walls were indeed reminiscent of investigation boards. On the larger one there were pictures of half a dozen Asian men, most of them at least twice her age, one who was pretty young and attractive, and not far from that one was a picture of Duo, a mechanic's jumper half on and tied around his waist, a tank top emerging from it, grease stains on his face and arms, clearly extremely focused on the section of Deathscythe he'd been working on at the time and utterly unaware of the camera. Down near the baseboard, as far from Duo's picture as it could get, was a piece of paper with Treize's name written on it. Every other person on that wall had a picture, except for him.

She pulled out a coffee maker from a cupboard, brand new that week, and started getting it ready to brew. "I've got arabica and Colombian beans. I have no idea what the difference is," she said as she showed him the two packages. Both were very fancy brands.

"No idea what the difference is either..." Duo muttered. He'd come in, put the cake on the dining table and then turned to stare at the board. It couldn't be helped. A little hint of insecurity had him looking at all the others and comparing himself to them. And if course he found himself lacking. In the end it was really down to Wufei and who she chose. But she'd already deemed him a safe bet, so hadn't she already chosen?

Trying to push away his insecurities, Duo made himself look away from the board to give Wufei a crooked smile. "Could have at least found a better picture of me? Didn't even get my good side."

"Then I'll use the one that's already open," she replied, putting the arabica back and scooping some Colombian into a paper filter, already in the top of the machine.

She glanced over when he spoke about the picture and grinned. "I thought every side was your good side," she replied lightly, and poured some water into the well before closing the coffee maker up and starting the machine up. "It's one of my few pictures from during the war, and my favorite of you. It'd been ten hours, trying to get a tiny bit of conduit to stay in place. It wasn't even rated for being in an MS at all, but it was what we had and you were determined to make it work. It was the day I started to understand who you are."

Wufei stepped away from the coffee pot to stand next to him, sliding a hand up his back absently. "I finally realized you were more than a bright smile and endless strings of nonsense words. And I finally noticed how handsome you are."

"A stubborn dumbass?" Duo asked with a grin. He vaguely remembered that day but didn't remember getting his picture taken. Wufei must have taken it while he wasn't paying attention.

Like now. He wasn't paying attention until it was too late and Wufei was beside him. Her hand on his back. It was an intimate kind of touch and almost enough for Duo to want to pull away. But he didn't. He remained rooted to the spot while trying to work out where this was coming from. Wufei thought he was handsome? Since even back then? But...she didn't have feelings for him, never had. Unless it was just objectively speaking. That made more sense to Duo. Sense enough that he was able to relax and then laugh. "Nah, you were right the first time. I'm not that deep, Wu. What you see is what you get." Usually... At least it was what he wanted people to see. What he preferred them to. No one ever bothered to scratch a little more below the surface to find out who he really was.

"Thank goodness your brain isn't in your ass then," she replied lightly, and shook her head a little at his reply, and letting out a long sigh. "But I suppose I should just say what needs to be said."

She slid her hand away, turning to face him and taking a moment to gather her strength. "Last time you were here, I lied to you. I told you I'd slept with Treize, because I wanted you to know that I'm not a virgin, to not wonder why there would be no blood on our wedding night. I..." She swallowed heavily, dropped her gaze. "I'm ashamed. I know that there's no cause, that nothing was... but feelings are rarely logical."

She took a deep breath to steady herself, curled her hands into fists to hide the way they were trembling. Reluctantly, she lifted her gaze to Duo and seemed, for a moment, to fight with the words, like they were stuck in her throat. "He... He raped me." She nearly choked on the words, dropping her gaze and lowering her head as she struggled to stop herself from trembling. "I'm sorry."

"Can't work out if you were calling me smart there or that I have a nice ass." Duo joked, though the tone soon turned and soon he was left just standing there and staring down at Wufei in shock.

Treize had... He'd hurt her in such a way? An ice cold feeling filled him as he came at that knowledge from all sides. Poking at it in quiet contemplation. Because what he was feeling was a cold rage that he was struggling to keep in check. There was no outlet for it, Treize was dead. Long dead. Karma had come for him with interest.

But the rage fled in the face of Wufei apologising.

Duo wasn't sure if he should after being told such a thing, but he couldn't have stopped himself if he'd tried. He'd reached out for Wufei and pulled her against his chest before he'd even realised that he'd moved.

"You don't ever have to apologise. That bastard had no right to put his hands on you. And it wasn't your fault he did. He was...evil." Evil and cruel. The destroyer of all things good in this world.

She couldn't have held it in if she tried when he pulled her into a hug, her arms coming around him as she let out a sob, clinging to him so tightly that it was obvious she had to restrain herself from hurting him. She'd never managed to get the words out before, but it was such a relief, and to have him right there, holding her... she shuddered, pressing her face into his shoulder. "I... I tried to make him kill me. And after, with Barton, I..." she'd been spiraling. Trying to find a way to die with some sort of dignity, but it hadn't worked out for her.

She drew a deep, shuddering breath. "Une stopped him," she said softly. "Got him away from me, and made sure he never got his hands on me again." It was why she became a Preventer, why she trusted Une even though she was a pain in the ass half the time. "I just, I didn't want you to be afraid to touch me. I don't want it to be the only experience I ever have, I..." she shut her mouth, before she said anything even more embarrassing.

Duo had to keep himself quiet, had to bite down on the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste the metallic tang of blood. He wanted to say more. Wanted to curse that mans name more. But at the same time he found he couldn't even think the name again. The bastard was nothing more than worthless trash that didn't deserve to have a name.

But more than that, Duo knew his focus should be on Wufei and not the one who had hurt her. His anger was on her behalf. Because of what she had suffered. But she didn't need his anger right now.

So he held her, tighter still, unafraid at how tight she clung to him. Duo didn't care if she broke bones so long as she found some comfort in his embrace.

"Wu I..." Shit. Now was he supposed to answer her here? He fell quiet, thinking his words through again. Then he sighed. "I've not been afraid to touch you. It didn't even bother me if you've had lovers before. It wouldn't even bother me if you didn't take me as a lover. You don't... There's nothing you have to justify here. The bastard hurt you and he got what was coming to him. And I'm glad Une was able to protect you." Because if he'd known himself... He would probably have tried to kill the bastard with his own hands.

She nodded wordlessly, letting the emotions -- the grief and guilt and shame and relief -- roll through her, let the tears spill. It took a little while for her to work it out of her system, sniffling as he hold on him started to relax, until she was able to just lean against him, eyes closed. "I've never been able to say it before," she whispered. "Thank you. Just... thank you." For everything. For agreeing to marry her. For being so flexible. For accepting her, even after this. She sighed softly, pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

All he could do then was silently hold her. Hold her and stroke a hand over her hair, over her back, rubbing soothing circles like he'd been shown when he was young. Duo held her and let her cry it all out.

And when the hold loosened, his remained. Gentler over time, cradling her to his chest until she was ready to pull away.

"Don't have to thank me... But you're welcome." Duo replied just as softly, not wanting the thanks for accepting it anyway. He hadn't done anything, at least he didn't think he had. But if Wufei believed he had then how could he argue? And the kiss? He didn't see it, but he felt it... For a moment his eyes closed, but he said nothing more.

She sniffled a little as she finally pulled away. "I'm going to go clean myself up a little," she had mascara streaks down her cheek -- the only makeup she'd worn that day -- and it was smudged around her eyes, too. "If you don't mind pulling the dining room table back into the dining room, maybe we should try that cake now," it would certainly help pick her mood up, if it was as good as he claimed it was.

Duo let her pull away... But before she could go too far he brought his hands up and ever-so-softly cupped her cheeks to wipe away her tears. It hurt so much to see him. Like a physical pain, an ache he couldn't quite pin down.

Then he nodded and let his hands drop. "I think the sofa is a better place. More comfortable." He offered her a small, kind smile before he turned and reached for the paper bag. He'd busy himself with that and give her time to get herself together if that was what she needed. In that time he'd make the drinks and set the large slices of chocolate cake on plates to take over to the sofa. And that was exactly where Wufei would find him when she returned.

She stopped when he cupped her face, and couldn't help smiling at him. When he looked at her, saw even her darkest secrets and didn't flinch, she couldn't feel anything but relief.

She nodded in agreement. "The sofa, then," she replied warmly, and went to the bathroom to blow her nose and wash her face. It was only five or so minutes, and her eyes were still a little puffy, but she was relaxed again as she joined him on the sofa, tucking her legs up under herself as she settled next to him.

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