sweetestsurrender | { The AU meme }

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{ The AU meme }

Ever played out something and then later wondered "What if?" Ever wondered what it'd be like to play your character a different way, but didn't feel like making a full thing dedicated to it? Now's your chance to play it out!

Using RNG you'll roll 1-3 for the level of the change, and 1-6 for the change itself, or if you want, pick your own based on what you wanted to do.

1)  Small Change: The flap of a butterfly's wings can cause tsunami's on the other side of the world.

-1: "A minute too late"- What if you missed something by a minute, or more? You missed the big meeting, the girl, helping that person, all because you were too late, what happens next?
-2: "The nick of time"- Just like the first, only that instead of missing something you got, that if you got something you missed because you were either too late, or just messed up? Congratulations! Let's just hope it's what you really wanted.
-3: "A little too early"- One more, what if you showed up early? It's suppose to be a good thing, is it this time?
-4: "The other choice"- You had two choices, left or right, heads or tails, Coke or Pepsi, now you get to see what would have happened with the other choice.
-5: "Oops!"- You slipped up, and made a mistake. Is it bad, or a blessing in disguise?
-6: Wild card/Pick your own- Thought of a slight change that'd make all the difference, or had one you wanted to play? Here's your chance.

2)  Medium Change: Didn't really see that coming, did you?

-1: Turning point change- That one thing that would have turned things in your favor went against you, and vice versa. How will you handle this critical change?
-2: "A Razor's edge"- That one moment that could have went either way has gone the opposite way of before. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?
-3: Crossroads- You reached a point in your life where you had several choices before you, now's the time to go down another road and see where it leads.
-4: The Road less traveled- "Two roads diverged in the woods, and I took the one less traveled" Will it make all the difference?
-5: Interference- Something blocked you from getting something you were going for. What do you do once the moment is gone?
-6: Wild Card/Pick your own-Thought of a medium change that'd make all the difference, or had one you wanted to play? Here's your chance.

3)  Large Change: Why do all the people here have goatee's?

-1: Good/Evil- Use to be a good guy? Welcome to the dark side, here's your cookie. Former bad guy? Hand over the cookie tray and join the side of good. How will the change of moral compass change you?
-2: A different person- You're now a completely different person, literally. Are you taller? Shorter? A robot? A pony? Powers? No powers? Your call.
-3: The other sex- Rule!63 is in effect. Now how does this effect your relationships with the other?
-4: A change in history- Something that happened in the past now has completely change or is now gone. One domino toppling the rest. Now that you've changed your past, how will it effect your future?
-5: Giving up- You walked away from something important to you? Do you regret it? Are you happy?
-6: Wild Card/Pick your own- Thought of a large change that'd make all the difference, or had one you wanted to play? Here's your chance.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She couldn't have held it in if she tried when he pulled her into a hug, her arms coming around him as she let out a sob, clinging to him so tightly that it was obvious she had to restrain herself from hurting him. She'd never managed to get the words out before, but it was such a relief, and to have him right there, holding her... she shuddered, pressing her face into his shoulder. "I... I tried to make him kill me. And after, with Barton, I..." she'd been spiraling. Trying to find a way to die with some sort of dignity, but it hadn't worked out for her.

She drew a deep, shuddering breath. "Une stopped him," she said softly. "Got him away from me, and made sure he never got his hands on me again." It was why she became a Preventer, why she trusted Une even though she was a pain in the ass half the time. "I just, I didn't want you to be afraid to touch me. I don't want it to be the only experience I ever have, I..." she shut her mouth, before she said anything even more embarrassing.

Duo had to keep himself quiet, had to bite down on the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste the metallic tang of blood. He wanted to say more. Wanted to curse that mans name more. But at the same time he found he couldn't even think the name again. The bastard was nothing more than worthless trash that didn't deserve to have a name.

But more than that, Duo knew his focus should be on Wufei and not the one who had hurt her. His anger was on her behalf. Because of what she had suffered. But she didn't need his anger right now.

So he held her, tighter still, unafraid at how tight she clung to him. Duo didn't care if she broke bones so long as she found some comfort in his embrace.

"Wu I..." Shit. Now was he supposed to answer her here? He fell quiet, thinking his words through again. Then he sighed. "I've not been afraid to touch you. It didn't even bother me if you've had lovers before. It wouldn't even bother me if you didn't take me as a lover. You don't... There's nothing you have to justify here. The bastard hurt you and he got what was coming to him. And I'm glad Une was able to protect you." Because if he'd known himself... He would probably have tried to kill the bastard with his own hands.

She nodded wordlessly, letting the emotions -- the grief and guilt and shame and relief -- roll through her, let the tears spill. It took a little while for her to work it out of her system, sniffling as he hold on him started to relax, until she was able to just lean against him, eyes closed. "I've never been able to say it before," she whispered. "Thank you. Just... thank you." For everything. For agreeing to marry her. For being so flexible. For accepting her, even after this. She sighed softly, pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

All he could do then was silently hold her. Hold her and stroke a hand over her hair, over her back, rubbing soothing circles like he'd been shown when he was young. Duo held her and let her cry it all out.

And when the hold loosened, his remained. Gentler over time, cradling her to his chest until she was ready to pull away.

"Don't have to thank me... But you're welcome." Duo replied just as softly, not wanting the thanks for accepting it anyway. He hadn't done anything, at least he didn't think he had. But if Wufei believed he had then how could he argue? And the kiss? He didn't see it, but he felt it... For a moment his eyes closed, but he said nothing more.

She sniffled a little as she finally pulled away. "I'm going to go clean myself up a little," she had mascara streaks down her cheek -- the only makeup she'd worn that day -- and it was smudged around her eyes, too. "If you don't mind pulling the dining room table back into the dining room, maybe we should try that cake now," it would certainly help pick her mood up, if it was as good as he claimed it was.

Duo let her pull away... But before she could go too far he brought his hands up and ever-so-softly cupped her cheeks to wipe away her tears. It hurt so much to see him. Like a physical pain, an ache he couldn't quite pin down.

Then he nodded and let his hands drop. "I think the sofa is a better place. More comfortable." He offered her a small, kind smile before he turned and reached for the paper bag. He'd busy himself with that and give her time to get herself together if that was what she needed. In that time he'd make the drinks and set the large slices of chocolate cake on plates to take over to the sofa. And that was exactly where Wufei would find him when she returned.

She stopped when he cupped her face, and couldn't help smiling at him. When he looked at her, saw even her darkest secrets and didn't flinch, she couldn't feel anything but relief.

She nodded in agreement. "The sofa, then," she replied warmly, and went to the bathroom to blow her nose and wash her face. It was only five or so minutes, and her eyes were still a little puffy, but she was relaxed again as she joined him on the sofa, tucking her legs up under herself as she settled next to him.

He'd sat, sipping his coffee and thinking things over. By the time Wufei returned he'd calmed some as well. Enough he was able to offer her another smile as be leaned over to grab the cake from the table, a little fork on the side, and handed the plate over.

"Here ya go. I'm bias but this is the best chocolate cake you're ever gonna eat. It might ruin you. You might never be able to eat another chocolate cake ever again." his smile turned to a bit of a grin. "Think you can handle that?"

She hummed softly as she accepted the cake, smiling and lifting a brow at his challenge. Instead of answering, she picked up her fork with a flourish and plucked off a bite, holding it up to inspect it with a thoughtful hum. Then she glanced at him, and stuck it into her mouth.

And then let out a positively sinful sound. "You're right," she murmured around the bite. "I'm ruined, but so are you," she smirked, waggling her fork at him. "Because if I ever have another period, I'm going to order a whole cake of this and eat it all. By. My. Self." And she took another bite, groaning and slumping against the back of the hideous sofa.

Duo couldn't help it, he looked smug as hell to have won this little challenge. Then he rolled his eyes and reached for his own slice of cake before settling down. Even going so far as to kick his heels up to rest on the table. They were going to get rid of this stuff anyway so did it matter?

"Birthdays. Christmas. Just because. If you want this cake I'll get you this cake." He chuckled softly. "Dabbie will be thrilled to have a fan." but he was just glad it met Wufei's approval. The fact she was enjoying it made him happy.

She hummed in appreciation, and blinked at the cake, struck by a sudden idea. "Wedding!" she said brightly, straightening up again. "This should be our wedding cake. Wouldn't even have to be a special order, if we're keeping it to the nine people."

Duo thought about that as he chewed on a bite of the cake.

"Yeah. Yeah I can ask her if she'd make us one of these for the wedding. Can't see her saying no." Actually he could see her crying from happiness and breaking his ribs hugging him. So maybe he'd just call her instead of going in person.

She beamed at him, taking another bite and savoring it with a happy sigh. "Making cake this good, maybe we should invite her to the wedding," she teased with a laugh, and boy did she need the laugh after the confession earlier. "You really weren't kidding, this might be the best cake I've ever had."

Duo once again considered her words, thinking it through to their conclusion before he spoke.

"Why not?" he looked over at her again with a smile. "The ceremony can be just for us and our friends. But if you wanted a party after and invite others, I don't see that being a problem."

"Well, we're getting married. We should take the time to celebrate it properly," she replied warmly, leaning over to nudge her shoulder against his. "I think getting to marry you is worth celebrating, anyway, and you seem pretty happy about it." She wasn't saying so, but she knew how he felt for her. She just hoped she'd feel it back soon, because he deserved to be loved all the way to the marrow.

"I think you're the only one crazy enough to think that." Crazy and desperate. Duo was well aware he wasn't quite a catch. He was never the plan, never even in the running. But circumstances had set them up and, as it turned out, he was the safest and best option out of all of them.

And he knew her feelings were lacking. Duo had come to terms with that, in fact it was advantageous to both Wufei and himself. Without any prospects, how else would he experience marriage? If he married Wufei then he wouldn't have worry about his future, he wouldn't have to field that age old question of when he planned to settle down and find himself a partner. He wouldn't have to worry about the potential of falling in love and ruining the life of someone else.

Because Duo didn't believe he deserved love at all. He didn't believe for a second that he could be fated for something so wonderful. And he was afraid. Absolutely terrified that if someone did fall in love with him, all he could do was disappoint. He was a mess. Most of it he was able to keep hidden but sometimes it slipped out and there would undoubtedly be collateral damage.

So this way, with Wufei, things were easier. Wufei knew the dangers of being around someone like him. Could navigate them. And since it wasn't a real marriage, could either of them really get hurt? Duo didn't think so.

"I was thinkin party because... you'd get to invite the rest of your friends." The ones that made him uncomfortable. Even knowing what Une had done for Wufei didn't quite alleviate some of the issues he had with her. But they helped. He didn't know how many work friends Wufei had. How many people in his family or clan he would want to invite. Duo could count on one hand how many people he could invite, and that was because some of them overlapped with Wufei's choices.

Edited 2022-01-29 23:33 (UTC)

She didn’t look up when he said that, keeping her gaze fixed on her cake and carefully pulling on her old, aloof mask from the war. “You and I are the only ones who really know how crazy it is. I’m sure plenty of people will think our little romance is improbable, but they’ll be happy for us.”

It shouldn't have been such a surprise, or hurt so much, to know that what she was changed things. Of course it was crazy. She might have been a Gundam Pilot, but that couldn't erase the shame and filth of being a comfort woman. There was no way she would ever be worthy of someone like him, who had clawed his way to glory and honor from the most humble beginnings.

She swallowed hard, forcing a smile as she looked down at her cake. "I don't really have any," she admitted softly. "Certainly not outside the people we've already decided to include. I'm... no one else likes me," and it wasn't just because she was intentionally trying to keep people at arm's length.

Edited 2022-01-30 00:07 (UTC)

"You know I didn't mean it like that..." Duo said softly, frowning over at her. It had half been a joke, but at the same time... he really didn't think anyone would ever want him long term, once they really got to know him. Once you got past the looks and the laughter it was just darkness and pain all the way down.

Duo reached out then. He didn't touch anywhere he hadn't already, just her hand, offering his in turn.

"I like you. So you can't say no one does." He smiled for her, even if hers was fake, his was genuine and warm.

Her hand turned, fingers curling around his own half out of habit and half because his touch was already a comfort for her. She glanced up, smile warming when she saw his own. "Even though I was a comfort woman?" Even if it was only the one time.

She sighed softly and squeezed his hand a little. "I like you, too, and not only because you'll put up with me," her smile warmed a little more as she lifted their hands, brushing her thumb over his again. "You see me."

"I've no idea what that means." Duo said honestly. He could guess, but he'd definitely not heard it called that before. It was almost polite. "But Wu, I... Look. I can't say I don't care, I care. What happened to you makes me angry... I hate it. It shouldn't have ever happened to you. But that's it. Whether you'd had one partner or a hundred, that doesn't bother me." Why would it? Why would it ever have bothered him? Wufei was able to lead her life in whatever way she wanted. If that meant being a 'comfort woman', a hooker or a nun, Duo couldn't judge. And wouldn't.

He quieted for a moment then, just looking at their joined hands, and then back at Wufei. He laughed softly. "Well yeah, I'm not lookin at anyone else." And he probably never would.

She gave her head a little shake, kissing his knuckles. "I meant that you see past all of my bravado and the walls I've put up over the years. To hide my secrets and my pain and..." she shrugged. "My self. But you've always seen right through it. That's why I was so mean during the war. You scared me, because it felt like, at every turn, you understood me in ways I barely understood, myself. As frightening as it was then, it's just as comforting now. I really am grateful that you're willing to marry me. There's no one else I would rather have as my husband."

She hadn't exactly been out looking, but she was sure no one would ever measure up.

"I guess I just see a lot of me in you..." Duo replied. "I did, anyway. But it was the same with all of us. We all had those walls." But he also guessed that maybe he had come on strong with the others, especially the likes of Wufei and Heero. They were tougher nuts to crack. Their walls higher than Quatre and Trowa's. And... for some weird reason, he'd liked Wufei. In his young, inexperienced mind, he'd honestly believed that if he could scale that wall and find what was beyond that maybe, just maybe, Wufei would like him back.

That had never happened though. At least not in a way he'd been able to see.

"I didn't mean to scare you back then, Wu. I just... suppose I was trying my hardest to get you to look at me." He laughed, lips curving in a self-depreciating smile. "But I'm glad you accepted. Even if I haven't actually asked you properly..."

She chuckled softly, leaning against him a little. "Oh, I was looking," she replied with a shake of her head. "I had myself convinced you could see right through me, knew I was a woman. I almost told you, while we were in the lunar base. I probably would have if Trowa hadn't passed us those plans. And you know, it's not too late. We haven't gone and gotten rings yet, you could get an engagement ring and do the whole fancy proposal thing if you want," she replied lightly. "But really, taking my hand like that... you might not have known what you were doing, but it felt very real and very proper to me," she said, scooping up the last bite of her cake on her fork and offering it to him. "It felt very much like an offering of love and commitment, and isn't that what an engagement proposal is?"

When she leaned into his side, he gently pulled his hand free of hers and instead wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a casual drape.

"Maybe I did?" Duo offered with a low laugh. "It'd explain a hell of a lot..." Like the sleepless nights where he'd question his sexuality and whether or not he was going insane. He'd never looked at guys the same way he'd looked at Wufei. Until he'd met him, Duo was convinced he was as straight as an arrow. But now, knowing that he was actually a she? It was a whole mind-fuck that was another reason for him needing to take time away to wrap his head around.

"So you're sayin I don't have to get down on one knee? Hire a hot air balloon or a romantic meal and have the waiter stick a ring in the dessert?" And speaking of dessert, he grinned and opened his mouth to accept the last bite of cake off of her fork. Somehow it tasted better when it was offered. "Yeah, yeah you're right. And when you're right, you're right." Even if that hadn't been what he had meant when he'd grabbed her hand, it had just turned out to be a shortcut to what he'd wanted to do in the first place.

She laughed warmly at that, feeding him the last bit of cake and setting the empty plate aside. "I think you'd be more likely to hide it in the depths of an engine and have me help you dismantle it to find the problem," she replied lightly. "It's been a long time since I did anything like that, my bike runs so smoothly I hardly ever have to do more than change the oil on it." She wasn't as much of a tinkerer as he or Heero were.

She stuck her feet up on the coffee table, too, letting out a long sigh. "So, do you want to talk about wedding parameters, or just go to bed? You can share my bed if you like, but I also got an airbed so you wouldn't have to." She didn't want to push him into anything, especially knowing what she'd needed to tell him. She was honestly a little surprised he hadn't just left.

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