Aerith Gainsborough (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ancientflower) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sweetestsurrender2021-10-25 06:59 pm
ancientflower) wrote in sweetestsurrender2021-10-25 06:59 pm
Entry tags:
1: I am not speculating about which Disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes.
2: I'm drunk af and eating corn chips. I am not the person to call.
3: I wasn't that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story has a totally logical explanation.
4: You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
5: What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
6: Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
2: I'm drunk af and eating corn chips. I am not the person to call.
3: I wasn't that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story has a totally logical explanation.
4: You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
5: What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
6: Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Edited 2021-11-22 23:19 (UTC)
1: Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of painkillers one-handed. Night is going well.
2: I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed turtle. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
3: You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
4: We are quite worryingly co-dependent and I wouldn't have it any other way.
2: I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed turtle. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
3: You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
4: We are quite worryingly co-dependent and I wouldn't have it any other way.
1: Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners/drenching underwear everywhere you go.
2: She took off my pants and said 'oh my god the legends are true'.
3: Run that by me again? You're 'so horny that you're legitimately concerned for my safety when you see me tonight'?
4: My memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent them were surprising clear.
5: So taking this online quiz called ‘what kind of Pokémon are you’. Any bets before I hit the final submit?
6: I woke up with “to whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick.
2: She took off my pants and said 'oh my god the legends are true'.
3: Run that by me again? You're 'so horny that you're legitimately concerned for my safety when you see me tonight'?
4: My memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent them were surprising clear.
5: So taking this online quiz called ‘what kind of Pokémon are you’. Any bets before I hit the final submit?
6: I woke up with “to whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick.
1: Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
2: THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER KEEPS CHASING ME BACK INTO THE HOUSE! FUCK THIS BIRD!
3: Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
4: WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
5: You ever get horny for food. I ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it for me.
2: THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER KEEPS CHASING ME BACK INTO THE HOUSE! FUCK THIS BIRD!
3: Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
4: WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
5: You ever get horny for food. I ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it for me.
1: If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right.
2: I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
3: I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people.
4: I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
5: I thought it was funny last night but I also thought I was a mermaid last night...
2: I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
3: I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people.
4: I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
5: I thought it was funny last night but I also thought I was a mermaid last night...
1: What is... "dtf"?
2: Sorry I interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night.
3: And somehow I feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
4: If I hadn't ended our fight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now.
2: Sorry I interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night.
3: And somehow I feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
4: If I hadn't ended our fight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now.
1: I don’t know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
2: I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your clothes will be there. I love it.
3: I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
4: You’d better come over... I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me.
2: I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your clothes will be there. I love it.
3: I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
4: You’d better come over... I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me.
1: You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
2: Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up...
3: Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some dudes, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
4: I'm just crazy horny about you. That simple.
2: Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up...
3: Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some dudes, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
4: I'm just crazy horny about you. That simple.
1: He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his friends that he actually fucked me. That's why I actually enjoyed kicking his ass hard during today's practice.
2: Aww he's cute... not in an 'I wanna rip his clothes off' way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet.
3: He designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. Told me he doesn't need my help anymore "but thanks". I give it six hours
4: Okay, but that was a gold-medal-deserving sext. You wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed.
2: Aww he's cute... not in an 'I wanna rip his clothes off' way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet.
3: He designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. Told me he doesn't need my help anymore "but thanks". I give it six hours
4: Okay, but that was a gold-medal-deserving sext. You wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed.
1: The air taste purple.
2: Mnn.
3: Who did the grocery shopping?
4: We are quite worryingly co-dependent and I wouldn't have it any other way.
2: Mnn.
3: Who did the grocery shopping?
4: We are quite worryingly co-dependent and I wouldn't have it any other way.
1: Well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
2: He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him in bed.
3: We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
4: When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head.
5: Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
2: He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him in bed.
3: We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
4: When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head.
5: Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
1:- hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
2:- He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon.
3:- I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
4:- hey. who tried to drive me home last night? i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
5:- I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!!
6:- you need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
2:- He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon.
3:- I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
4:- hey. who tried to drive me home last night? i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
5:- I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!!
6:- you need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
1:- Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign, but hey, I got home safe.
2:- Going to be out late. I'm drinking too hard and I'm on a roll. AND if I might have a chance to win a wet t-shirt contest if I enter.
3:- You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
4:- I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
5:- I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me.
6:- I'm crying because I want to see an elephant and I know I'll never get to!
2:- Going to be out late. I'm drinking too hard and I'm on a roll. AND if I might have a chance to win a wet t-shirt contest if I enter.
3:- You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
4:- I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
5:- I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me.
6:- I'm crying because I want to see an elephant and I know I'll never get to!
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